Expectations & Family

Hi Everyone!!

So this is kind of a different topic than we've had before but I do think that most of us can relate to it or at least know someone who can, so bear with me here!

When I was trying to figure out what to write about I thought about something that all of us could relate to and I thought about a friend I had in Boston. Danielle, that's my friend, her entire life her parents pressured her to go to law school. Of course she went to college and majored in criminal justice, and frankly she hated it. She hated her classes, she hated the subjects she was taught, and she was dreading having to apply to law school. At one point I remember her calling her parents to tell them she was thinking about changing her major... this conversation was not a pretty one. Her parents simply couldn't support her doing anything besides being a lawyer, regardless of whether or not it was something she actually loved. Personally I felt so bad for her; I couldn't imagine knowing I was going to have to study and prepare to go into a field that I hated... and yet that is exactly what she was and still is doing.

So basically I was just wondering what everyone thought about situations like that? Do parents always know us better than we know ourselves and therefore have the right to tell us what is best for us to do? Are we as teenagers incapable of knowing what we should ultimately do with our lives? Or should we rebel against our parents and do what we think we want and see how it turns out?

Class Tomorrow

Hi, everyone!

Sooo, my flight back today ended up being killer (we basically started flying last night at midnight and just got back in) and I don't think there is any way I'm going to be coherent tomorrow. I'm sure you're all very upset about this, but I'm going to cancel class tomorrow. ;)

So, come prepared for class next week for Group One to present. Group One--you should really make you sure review those attachments I emailed everyone about tips on the reflection papers and the group presentations. The one major thing I'd like to underscore here is that you need to be engaged throughout the entire presentation (that is, if you're having us do an activity, you need to be moving around the groups and answering questions, etc. and not just stay in the classroom by yourselves), you need to sit back and facilitate class discussion (as opposed to answering your own questions), and you all need to work equally together (which I don't foresee as a problem in this class!).

Everyone please come prepared with The Lovely Bones for next week then, and, Tara, you will be posting your blog topic this week, so please make sure you have that up here by noon on Thursday (and the rest of class needs to look for her post and respond).

Oh, and email me your lectures, too, please. I know quite a few of you already have and I'm in the process right now of recording credit for those and sending you a confirmation email. If you don't get one by tomorrow, please go ahead and email them again.

Thanks!

Groups (again)

Hi, everyone!

I just wanted to give everyone a quick update on the group projects. Since I couldn't get anyone to switch over to Group Three (even with the bribe of extra credit! seriously, though, I know it's late in the semester and the real problem was that everyone in Group One had already started working on stuff), Group Three is just going to have to make do with three people. I'm sorry Group Three members, but I just couldn't force someone who has already read the book for her group and started working on the project to move over. You three will be able to do this on your own, I know it! After all, I manage to teach class each week and there is only me... :P

Seriously, though, I will definitely take into consideration the fact that you only have three members in your group when you all get graded, okay? So, I know you can pull together here, Group Three. Let me know if you have any questions or need some guidance. You can do it! :)

Stereotypical Family

So we've all been talking about the dysfunctional sides of families and what we think about divorce and sibling rivalry and abusive relationships, etc...but what about the other side of things? I'm talking about defining the stereotypical family, and not only that but defining a 'perfect' family. What do you think makes up the stereotypical family? In other words, what does 'stereotypical family' mean to you and does it differ from your definition of a perfect family, or to you, are these one and the same? From personal experience, does your family fit underneath any of these definitions?

For me, stereotypical family can several meanings, depending on what type of family you're talking about: the number of children, the kind of parents and the definition of a 'perfect' family is only one of these stereotypes. Here is the picture I paint in my head of a stereotypical 'perfect' family: upper-middle class working father who loves his job, kisses his wife each morning when he leaves and each night when he comes home and is caring father to his two children: a boy and a girl who both excel at sports and school. The wife is a stay-at-home mom who bakes and has a sparkly clean house and helps her kids with their homework. So now I've told you my personal image, what's yours? And does it relate to your family?

The Abusive Family

Hey so I was having a really hard time thinking about what to talk about this week, but then I realized that I'm living right next door to my topic. My dorm neighbor, let's call her Susie, has had her boyfriend over for over a week without her parents knowing. His living with us didn't bother the rest of us too much until he starting using the bathroom regularly and getting food all the time and having unexpected sex with Susie while the roommate was still in the room.

Then, just today, her mother shows up and starts slamming on the door, Susie having been gone with her boyfriend for the night, and Susie's roommate opens the door. Susie's mom said that she needed to talk to Susie immediately and that Susie had lied to her family about her boyfriend living with her.

Apparently, Susie's boyfriend has beaten her in the past and he is bad news. Well, she left then I saw Susie later in the day and asked her about what was going on. She said that her boyfriend had never touched her, but that her dad had verbally abused her several times and has hit her hard enough to bleed. It's really hard to know whom to believe. Susie raised her little sister, who is now 2, and she should be able to have her parents' support in everything she does, right?

She left today. She's going back to Gallup and has decided to enroll in that branch of UNM. Is this a good idea? To be so close to an abusive family life? She has run away before, but has always returned to her little sister. What can she do? her parents are her parents, but at what point is their authority too much? When does respect and love die to fear?

Sibling Relationships and Rivalry

To begin with, I have to let everyone know that I am an only child so I’ll never know what it’s like to have brothers or sisters; however, I do have an outsider’s view of sibling relationships! It’s actually really weird that I am an only child because my mom is the one of seven children, and my dad is the one of five. They often tell me they wanted more children before they had me. I guess I was a handful!

From what I have seen from my friends with siblings and even within my own family, it seems like the oldest child is usually meant to be the exemplary child, and the children born after the first are meant to follow in the older one’s footsteps. I am not saying that this happens in every family, but I have definitely noticed younger siblings compared to their older siblings in areas such as school and sports. I have also noticed that the youngest children are considered the “babies” and are often favored by the parents as much as the oldest child or even more. This is definitely the case on my father’s side of the family. My dad is the only boy and also the oldest child. My aunts often refer to him as the favorite along with their youngest sister while they, on the other hand, feel lost in the mix as middle children. A few of my aunts have also admitted to feeling like they were competing for the attention of their parents. This is the point where I’m not sure how sibling relationships work. Why do siblings feel like favorites exist within a family? Is it possible to love children equally? Also, do you believe that sibling rivalry exists within every sibling relationship to a certain extent?

I can't wait to read your replies! I hope everyone has a good rest of the week! :)

Friends as Family

Hey everyone! I want to look into the theme "Friends as Family". For years, I went around from group of friends to group of friends until I found the right one. After staying in this group for four years (all through high school), I consider these friends to be my family. I feel their pain as strongly as the pain of my immediate family's. So what is everyones' take on friends as family? Do you truly believe that friends can be your family? Also, do you believe that there are instances where friends are better than your family? While giving your answers, try to relate personal experience (only if you want, of course) so we can learn more about you and better understand the point you are making. Looking forward to reading your replies!

Groups, etc.

Hi, everyone!

So, we've had another student drop the course--Genesis (I swear, you all are dropping like flies...I hope I'm not upsetting people, lol).

Since this leaves Group Three with only three people, I am requesting that someone from Group One to move to Group Three. If you all have done too much with your project already and you don't want to, I understand, but I'd really, really appreciate someone moving to Group Three--this is a lot of work for just three people and having just one extra person will really help them out a lot. Whoever moves over will also earn some extra credit (which we will talk about as soon said person lets me know) since we're already three weeks into the semester. So, maybe that will be some good enticement...  :)

Please either respond to this post or email me and let me know!

Thanks!

Mixed Families

Hey Girlies!!! My turn. So, since all of us are girls, I'm hoping all of us have seen Cinderella. We see the family relationship between the evil step mother and step sisters. I wanted to know what your thoughts were on the whole topic of mixed families. Does the movie portray realistic relationships between step parents and step siblings? Or is this a false fear Disney puts in childrens' heads about mixed families not being able to get along? Can a person suddenly form a familial bond with a person they've never known? Also, in being a step parent, would one have the same authority and ability to discipline a child as a biological parent?

Hope you guys have a great week and we'll see you next week

Divorce and Relationships

Divorce use to be a big deal; a poor choice in society. Nowadays it is sadly common and 'normal'. When researching a bit, I found this website http://www.divorcerate.org/ and it said that the correct rate of divorce is about 41% and gets higher depending on how many marriages. Then it goes into more detail about each age group. I was surprised to see that the 20 to 24 year olds had a greater chance of getting divorce than the 20 and under year olds with about a 10% difference. To me, this is pretty significant. As young adults, what do you think about marrying young? And why do you think the 20 to 24 year olds have a higher chance of divorce?

I have thought about this a lot myself. I have been going out with my boyfriend for a little longer than 2 years and we just moved in together (which is going very well). And while we were discussing relationships, he said something that I hadn't ever thought about before. Many people who have had past relationships compare them with relationships they are in now. In a way sometimes that can be detrimental. I would like to think these 20 and under year olds have had fewer relationships. Do you think this could be a possible factor? Also when you think about what you are doing in each age group, what factors do you think about?

While we are on the topic of relationships, does anyone want to share some awesomely sweet stories about your partner?

Hooray for an all girl class!! :)

Families Left Behind

We have not studied familial themes in many sources yet since this is the beginning of our class, so I would like to direct your thoughts to The Odyssey. As you know, Odysseus' journey begins in The Iliad, when he leaves his home of Ithaca and family to fight in the Trojan War. When Odysseus has still not returned home after many years, we see the effects of Odysseus' absence on his family in The Odyssey. Now think about how this same situation pertains to our world today. Odysseus left his loved ones to fight and stand up for his people. Today, many men and women are leaving their own loved ones to defend their country. Think of the lonely Penelope and Telemakhos who was an infant when his father left. Think of the families left behind who have to carry on in the absence of their husband, wife, father, mother, sister, brother, etc. How do these two situations compare? What effect(s) does the absence have on the family? How could/should the families respond? Do you think this situation was more difficult in Odysseus' time or in our world today? For what reasons? You may want to figuratively put yourself in the shoes of the family members in order to better understand if you have not experienced this firsthand in your life.

Revised Groups

Hi, everyone!

Since we lost Lexi and David and Genesis has moved to Group Three (thank you, Genesis!), I just wanted to pose the revised groups here.

Group One: Tara, Seemay, Lauren, Meg, Carolyn (the same as before)

Group Two: Sybelle, Ale, Meagan, Amy

Group Three: Genesis, Frances, Taylor, Leah

Thanks!