Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Families Left Behind
We have not studied familial themes in many sources yet since this is the beginning of our class, so I would like to direct your thoughts to The Odyssey. As you know, Odysseus' journey begins in The Iliad, when he leaves his home of Ithaca and family to fight in the Trojan War. When Odysseus has still not returned home after many years, we see the effects of Odysseus' absence on his family in The Odyssey. Now think about how this same situation pertains to our world today. Odysseus left his loved ones to fight and stand up for his people. Today, many men and women are leaving their own loved ones to defend their country. Think of the lonely Penelope and Telemakhos who was an infant when his father left. Think of the families left behind who have to carry on in the absence of their husband, wife, father, mother, sister, brother, etc. How do these two situations compare? What effect(s) does the absence have on the family? How could/should the families respond? Do you think this situation was more difficult in Odysseus' time or in our world today? For what reasons? You may want to figuratively put yourself in the shoes of the family members in order to better understand if you have not experienced this firsthand in your life.
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14 comments:
First of all I'd like to say that the connection you made between Odysseus and situations of today's world is great. I hadn't thought of it from that perspcetive before, probably because I have never been in such a difficult situation. I think that loved ones going off to war is a familial theme that has continued into todays time since the time of ancient greeks. I think also that it has greatly changed because of the amount of technology, but on the other hand there are still many similarities. I have a friend who has a boyfriend fighting over seas, and she tells me what it is like for his family dealing with his absence. They only get to see him for a short while even when he is in the states because he lives in Georgia, but at least when he is in the states they can contact him constantly, whereas when he is over seas they are waiting each week for a phone call and most times still dealing with the feelings of worry and not knowing. I think that it is somewhat "easier" to deal with in today's time because at least it does not take ten years to learn of what is going on with loved ones, however the emotional toll of dealing with the absence of a family member and not knowing how they are regularly still has the same effects on the human psyche.
Like the absence that Odysseus has on his family, these soldier are the missing pieces to their families. And of course, the family still has to live, but I have a feeling that there isn't a moment that they don't think of their missing family member and knowing that there is something very important missing. Frances is totally right to say things have changes because of technology. Instead of just waiting they has a better idea of where their loved ones are and how they are doing. But there is only a small gap of when they can actually talk, so there is still a long waiting process (just not 10 years...). All a family can do is wait and that is what they should do; wait and pray and dream about these great people.
A friend posted this one time and it really speaks to this question I think. It is also the most sad video ever. I probably tried over 10 times watching it, so grab your Kleenex box!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02rEoCJDhaU
Ah, crap, thanks a lot for posting that, Seemay. I just cried the entire freaking 10 minutes of that and am still crying as I type this! Sheesh... :)
Seriously, thank you for sharing. That was just beautiful. The joy on their faces just got me every time. It never got old, you know? I really like the one where the girl jumps on her Marine boyfriend and knocks off his hat...awww. That's how I'd be, I'm sure. I would just attack my husband! :D
I think the impact the absence of a family member has on the family depends on their relationships. If a family isn't very close the gravity of the situation isn't as bad. The closer the family is, the harder it is being away from each other. I think families should always try to stay positive about the situation. For example, in The Odyssey Penelope never gave up hope that her husband would return. I agree with Frances about how things might be slightly easier now than they were back then. Now, with technology, there are more ways to stay in touch. In most cases, we know how the family member is doing. We can stay in touch, even though at times it might not be much, its more than in the times of Odysseus. However, even though we have these new forms of communication, it's still very difficult to be away from those that you love.
Also, Seemay even though it was sad, that was a great video!
Thanks for responding to my post with some good thoughts so far :)I agree with Frances in saying that it is "somewhat" easier than Odysseus' time because of modern communication technology. And Seemay, I have seen that video, and I think it is absolutely amazing! If it really does not warm your heart and make you feel so much gratitude for those people defending us, something is wrong. Along those lines, I think the best thing the families could do in response to the commitment/absence of their family member is to love them and support them in every way they can. The "warriors" are exhibiting their great bravery and sacrifice, and I am sure these selfless people savor the support and encouragement from their family.
Seemay, I have to say thank you for posting that video. I never really cry at movies or anything, my eyes will water or maybe one tear will leak out, but I'm just not a crier. I cried through that whole thing and it made my heart happy and sad all at the same time. Thank you for sharing it!!
I agree with everyone's pervious posts on how technology has helped people saty in contact and able to relay informatin alot faster. However, just like anything there are downfalls to it. As we all know everything posted online can be either true or completely false. Recently I had a friend who was extremely upset about the fact that he had heard online that his friend, who is overseas, special ops group was attacked while traveling back to their base camp. What was said online was that he didn't make it. The family heard this by word of mouth and was devastated. However, turns out all the information got jumbled and there were no casualties, only injuries (some rather serious but no deaths). In the Odyssey, Telemahkos went in search of people who had actually spoken to his father to find out if he was alive or not by those who would have their facts straight. Just like anything I feel the different time period has its pros and cons. Now a family member wouldn't be able to pack up and just go in search of their loved one who is M.I.A. They can only trust word of mouth.
As for talking about the topic of absence of the family member, its extremely hard on the family. My cousin's husband was deployed to Iraq a few years ago. It was about 2 years after their 1st child was born. So he would see pictures and hear his dad's voice on the phone, and late at night he would cry for him and ask when for his father. When his father did come back though, he did not know or recognize him. He was scared and intimidated. Its a working process the family undergoes. In the end they all reconnected and are doing well.
I'm not sure what else I can contribute to this discussion! You all have said so much! :)
I agree with everything everyone has said so far. Although technology is there, it cannot replace a real hug or a real conversation face to face with someone you love. Personally, my dad was sent to Saudi Arabia when I was four. He wasn't gone for as long as Odysseus was, but his absence was definitely acknowledged. My mom told me I was sick the entire time he was gone, and I had a difficult time understanding why my dad had left. I can't even imagine how Telemakhos felt being told about his father constantly, but not being able to remember him. I'm sure it would be difficult for any child to "meet" a parent because there is an expectation to love a person that you may not know and saying you do not know your parent sounds somewhat weird and absurd.
And even now, MY absence is affecting my family. We're extremely close, and I happen to be the only child so not being together is very difficult. We email and call each other often, but we're often hindered by busy schedules and an eight hour time difference. It's very rare that we have a long conversation, but it means the world to me every time I see their number or their email address.
Oh my goodness! Seemay! I just literally cried for ten minutes straight while watching that video, I’m pretty sure it’s the most emotional video I’ve even seen, but you know it was a good cry, I haven’t cried in a while, probably good for the soul .
I’m definitely going with what everyone else is saying, these two situations compare obviously because in both situations people from the family are far away from home and in harms way and the family is worried about them, but also they contrast because of the time differences, today the technology offers some reprieve for the families worries unlike in Odysseus’ time when he had no contact with his family for about twenty years. The absence of a family member cause worry in the family and sometimes stress and tension between family members, or maybe brings the family closer together with their absence. I think this depends on the closeness of the family and how good the support system is. For obvious reasons, the time of the Odyssey was much more difficult for the families because they didn’t know anything at all about what happened to their loved ones except for slanted rumors that sometimes got around and most of the time you didn’t know which ones to believe.
On a less extreme scale, my parents are dealing with this right now. Even with all the technology and me being only forty minutes away this is the first time I’ve lived away from them for good (I volunteered and lived in Panama for eight weeks last summer, the only communication was one phone call I made during ‘mid-term’ and letters that took two to three weeks either way, but it was always fun to look forward to the letters I’d get each week from my supervisor and see who had written whether it be my mom and dad or my friends or even some other relatives living in different states) and my mom and dad are trying to deal with their ‘little girl’ living away from home. (My dad was even thinking about bribing me to stay home).
There is supposed to be a smiley face at the end of my first paragraph :) but it didn't copy over from Word. :) :) :)
Oh my goodness, this is what I get for forgetting to check the blog before going out of town - you guys have literally said it all. Seemay, that video was absolutely beautiful though! My mom came in to see why I was crying and I had to restart it and show her from the beginning and by the end she was crying too.
But back to the post - I've never personally been in this situation before but my cousin has a husband who's been serving in Iraq for the past couple of years and they have two children who are about 5 and 2. They definitely miss him, but again, like everyone mentioned before, thanks to the modern technology they can still be contacted by him when he's able to overseas. I think it doesn't matter what time period you're in, the separation doesn't get easier. Even if you can contact someone that isn't the same as physically having them there with you to help raise your family. No matter what, the children are still going to grow up with a family member having been absent and overcoming that absence and forging a new bond with both spouse and children again is a new challenge all unto itself.
I'm waiting for my parents to leave the room before I watch the video. I'm not much of a cryer, but still, you never know.
I am in agreement to basically all the posts that are currently up. Although time heals all-at least partially-there's still always a hole where that family member is missing.
Even after twenty years, Penelope's love for Odysseus never dies. She sits at home, waiting and wishing, even though others attempt to persuade her to move on. I think the bottom line is, once someone has contributed to the person you are so completely, it becomes entirely impossible to forget them.
They're walking out of the room. Video time. One moment please.
Oh wow. Wow. That was one of the most beautiful and moving pieces of digital art I have ever seen. That was truly amazing.
I can't even imagine what it would be like to lose someone like that. It's not that they're gone forever, but waiting and not being able to let go seems like the hardest part. Even thinking about what it would be like to watch my dad go and not be sure about what would happen would make me lose my mind. I really don't know what to say since Seemay, the Youtube queen, got that one right on point. It's totally different when someone dies than when they leave for who knows how long and waiting and waiting is the most painful thing. I imagine it's especially worse for kids because they don't understand time as well as adults do so a few years for a kid is most of his or her life. PTSD probably effects families of soldiers just as much as it effects the soldiers themselves.
Luckily, I am not one of those who can attest to the affects of the absence of a loved one who is fighting for their country. That being said, I do know what it is like to have someone close to you living across the world and not knowing what will happen to them, and if something does, if you will ever know. When I was 8 my father moved to India, and at one point when I was about 15, we went about 6 months without hearing from him. Those months were definitely trying because even though I knew that he was probably okay, it was still one of those situations where the 'what ifs' can't help but creep into your mind. The scariest part to me was knowing that if something had happened to him, the likelihood of me and my mother finding out was pretty slim.
However, I do acknowledge that having a family member away at war must be beyond apprehension for those of us who have not experienced it. I have a few friends that have joined the military over the years and one of them is actually volunteering for deployment, and I can only imagine how hard that will be on his family. That being said, I also believe that with the technology that we have in place today, that it is much easier on those who are waiting on loved ones at war than it was in Odysseus' time.
PS- I know this is slightly repetitive but sorry again for the late post, just got back in town! :)
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