So we've all been talking about the dysfunctional sides of families and what we think about divorce and sibling rivalry and abusive relationships, etc...but what about the other side of things? I'm talking about defining the stereotypical family, and not only that but defining a 'perfect' family. What do you think makes up the stereotypical family? In other words, what does 'stereotypical family' mean to you and does it differ from your definition of a perfect family, or to you, are these one and the same? From personal experience, does your family fit underneath any of these definitions?
For me, stereotypical family can several meanings, depending on what type of family you're talking about: the number of children, the kind of parents and the definition of a 'perfect' family is only one of these stereotypes. Here is the picture I paint in my head of a stereotypical 'perfect' family: upper-middle class working father who loves his job, kisses his wife each morning when he leaves and each night when he comes home and is caring father to his two children: a boy and a girl who both excel at sports and school. The wife is a stay-at-home mom who bakes and has a sparkly clean house and helps her kids with their homework. So now I've told you my personal image, what's yours? And does it relate to your family?
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I think my definitions of a stereotypical family and a perfect family are a little different, but basically the same. In America, I think a stereotypical family has two working parents, 2-3 children, and a pet or two. A perfect family might have the dad who goes off to work with his briefcase and tie, while the mom stays at home to clean house and prepare wholesome meals. The kids love school and the faithful dog greets each family member at the door. My view of the stereotypical family and the perfect family both have pretty much the same components, but they differ in terms of the parents responsibilities. In 21st century America, I think the stereotype is that both parents work and share household responsibilities for the most part, instead of the mom staying home like in the perfect family. Also most kids today are probably not happy to sit down and do homework like we envision the kids of the perfect family :) In terms of my own family, we are stereotypical because it includes my mom, dad, and two children. We have a dog and a cat. However, my parents are business owners so they both work very hard and my mom does not have time to stay home and bake cookies. In terms of behavior, we are not always perfect like the perfect family; we do not always love going to school or work. However, I think we have an excellent family relationship full of strength and love, so I think it is the "perfect" place for me to be!
In my opinion, a stereotypical family is the typical nuclear family. There is a mother and a father with two children. Ideally, a boy and a girl. The father in my stereotypical family is very similar to the previous descriptions. He goes to work every morning with his tie on and his jacket over his arm as he rushes out the door with his coffee in his hand. The loving mother cooks the children breakfast and quickly pushes them towards the door and off to school. (Very June Cleaver meets Pleasantville sort of stuff.)I don't necessarily think that the stereotypical family is the perfect family, because perfect does not exist for me. As cliche as that may sound, I believe the flaws and quirks of a family truly make it what it is.
My family is no where near the stereotypical or perfect family besides the fact that my parents are still married. Although my mother does not work, she is trying to get her PhD in nursing and is no where close to being the cheery homemaker I described. My father spends hours at work, but dreads leaving for it in the morning. We also fight quite a bit and we're fairly dysfunctional, but throughout the chaos, I know we all love each other and in the end, that's all the really matters.
The perfect family would definately be the old school tv show type of family. (i.e. Brady bunch and Leave it to Beaver) Haha! Yeah they have their little situations to deal with but no biggie. Everyone loves and gets along with eachother. And the roles are as previously described.
Stereotypical family would definately be the appearance of a whole family (mother, father, children, and possibly pets). In the stereotypical family I picture chaos. Like in Yours, Mine, Ours or Cheaper by the Dozen. The chaos is what makes life interesting and people really appreciate all they have. Though things almost never go as planned, at the end of the day everyone knows they have someone to turn to if needed and is able to do crazy stuff with.
My family is a mixed family. I'm my mom's only child and my step dad's only daughter. We all have our own chaos that we deal with. My parents and I would have very intense conversations about personal issues and express our opinions openly. I know alot of other families who hardly ever talk. Therefore I'm grateful for the relationship I have with my parents. Even though sometimes I need to remind my dad i'm not 5 and remind my mom i'm not 40 lol! I think my family meets the typical stereotypical standards... usually.
hmm...well to me the stereotypical family and the perfect family are different. I would agree with the definitions that everyone else has posted for the stereotypical family. Also, when I think about the stereotypical family, my mind flashes to those families depicted on the television. That's why they are on the TV, so we can relate to them and want to watch the shows. They're suppose to be stereotypical family so that most people can find something in common, to make it seem real. My definition of a perfect family is different though. I believe that the idea of a "perfect" family is somewhat subjective. It depends on what each individuals idea of it is. Whereas the idea of a stereotypical family seems set in stone. To me a perfect family is much like my own. This isn't to say that my family isn't flawed, its actually quite the opposite haha. However, to me it is perfect. I have my parents and my brother and we all care for each other very much. Sure we fight, and we've had plenty of ups and downs, but we're always there for each other no matter what. We all do our part to contribute as best we can to the family. There really isn't anything I would want to change about my family, to me it's just right.
I think I am in agreement with the posts before mine. The definition of the stereotypical family differs from that of the perfect family (Sybelle I liked your definition of the perfect family.) I think the steroetypical family is the one that we all seem to assume most everyone has. A traditional mom, dad, 2 or 3 kid family. I like how Lauren brought up how the roles of each of the members evolves with the times which I think is true also. We stereotype this situation as "the family" and any other type is just "non traditional." I saw a very interesting "non traditional fmaily" on the Today show this morning.. This man is legally married to one woman, but he has 4 wives. Combined, there are 16 children and they all live in the same house, though I believe they said it is divided into 4 areas. For me although this situation is on the extreme side of non tradtional, (I don't agree with it mostly because I feel is it a modern day form of oppression for women) but it is what these people consider their family.
As for the perfect family I also agree it's the families that are portrayed on tv. These days there are more "non traditional" familes on tv (iCarly, Good Luck Charlie) but they still seem so perfect, I guess this is because their problems can be solved in half and hour. The perfect family used to be the Cleavers. June gets all dressed up to clean the house, Warren goes to work and comes home to Beaver and Wally and a homemade dinner.
I think my family is closet to the cleavers. In a way we're stereotypical yet that "perfect" mom stays home, cooks, cleans, and takes care of the kids, while dad goes to work and comes home to the 3 kids and the 3 dogs and a freshly made dinner. I know we're far from perfect, but I do think I come from a more "traditional" days gone by family. In the 50s my family type would have been in the majority, today it's in the minority. This my be a good and bad thing, but essentially it is a sign of the change in the times.
First I want to say awesome topic to Meagan. To me the stereotypical american family is two parents, at least two kids, and a house. This family gets along but has the occasional fight as well.
The first thing that comes to mind when I hear "the perfect family" is a clip from Sum 41's music video "Pieces" where the supposed perfect family is depicted. There is a family sitting at the dinner table, probably meant to reflect the 70's (judging by their clothes). There are two parents, grandparents, a daughter, and a son (who is actually Cone, Sum 41's bassist aka my future husband ha ha). Basically, it's the same sitcom-esque family that everyone's been mentioning.
However, that's just what first comes to mind. Since we seemed to have gotten on the subject of tv families, I'm going to say that the full house family is the perfect one (minus the irritatingly cliche heart to hearts at the end of every episode with the sentimental music). This family is definitely non traditional, but they are still so happy and love each other infinitely. To me, that is the perfection I want in a family.
I think one thing that I need to establish for myself is that we aren't talking about an average American family, but rather we're talking about ideals and hypothetical families. What flashes into my mind when one says a 'stereotypical' or 'perfect' family is the old classic '50's family like from Pleasantville if anyone has seen that movie? Basically what I mean is the loving housewife cooks breakfast for the loving father and 2 children, the father goes off to work, the kids go off to school, and when the father gets home, he comes in with the classic "honey, I'm home!!", and the whole family sits and eats dinner together. Obviously if a family like this actually existed, we might be worried for their sanity. I think the perfection of a perfect family lies in the imperfections; perhaps the dad is a little quirky and goes a little overboard on the enthusiasm, but he does it out of love, perhaps not both of the kids make straights A's, but they each have their own strengths and weaknesses, but most importantly of all they all love each other very much. I think that love most of all defines the perfect family. People always say that you can't choose your family and so perhaps you love them out of obligation, but in my opinion, when a family chooses to spend time together that's when they really understand what it is to be a family.
My own family consists of me and my mother, and honestly I'm happy with that. She and I are there for each other through thick and thin and she really is my best friend. I think because it's just her and me I think that that helped us to get so close and stay so close, and I'm grateful for that. Now we may not be stereotypical, and are far from perfect, but I personally wouldnt have it any other way.
I really like what everyone's written so far on the topic, but for me I'm gonna have to say that in my mind I associate the perfect family as being the same as the stereotypical family. In this family, everyone is happy and loving and though they may face some hardships, they all pull through it in the end (this idea was mostly fed by me watching episodes of full house and the brady bunch as a kid, back in the day when the idea of watching a family that wasn't "perfect" never appealed to me).
My family is by no means perfect, in fact we're pretty darn dysfunctional when it comes down to it. Back when I lived at home, if I spoke two words to anyone in my family in a day, things were going well. Sure we have certain aspects of "the perfect family" going for us - my dad goes off to work every morning and my mom stays home. There's only two kids - me and my brother, and of course our adorable little dog. We even ate dinner together when our schedules permitted it - but unavoidably someone would always be angry so it was best to finish the food ASAP before you said or did something to start an argument. Now that I don't have to live under that oppressive atmostphere every day, I can see more clearly that my parents did try as hard as well as they could to raise me as a good kid, and consequently I am one. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I get great grades, and I'm very cautious and introverted when it comes to social interactions (mainly because acting in anyway contrary to this would end up with a hard consequence from my parents, I'm scared of ending up in a relationship like the one that my parents had, and I never wanted to draw attention to myself when I was home in case it brought some kind of flaw to my parents' attention for them to critcize).
I think that the stereotypical family is changing a lot as society is. I think that it used to be the same as the 'perfect family' but now that more and more families are getting divorced and having more general problems, we are realizing what is more 'typical' in a family. The stereotypical family I think are still the family with 2.5 children and the loving dog and cat, but I really don't see them being married or not. I definitely see them still happy and satisfied with their life. I think that the perfect family is really up to opinion. It is based off of the individuals belief and life experiences they had that form this family in their head. It is based off the experiences one has in thier families and what they would like to change or keep the same that builds this 'perfect' family.
My family is I would say pretty typical. My mom and dad are divorced, I have 2 sisters (I'm the middle) and we have lots of loving animals (2 dogs, cat, and chinchilla). My parents talk to each other when they have to, but it's always better when they don't, but they both love their children and are very supporting and loving which is the only thing a kid could want in this predicament. I love my family so much. I am so great-full for what I have because I have been dealing with other families recently that haven't been doing too well. And to be honest it's hard to understand what these parents are thinking.
I think the definitions of perfect, stereotypical, and still perfectly stereotypical, and stereotypically perfect are all different. To me, the definition of a stereotypical family is a little fuzzy. Still, it's a middle class family that consists of a blue-collar, hard-working dad, and probably the same for mom, as well as the two or three kids, boys and girls. There is probably a car, a dog, a cat, a fish...the usual I suppose. But "perfect," to me, is a family that, despite it's quirks, chaos, arguments, and everything else, is made up of family members that care about and love each other. That in spite of everything, they are still a fully-functioning family.
Now that I've revisited my original statement, I'm not even 100% sure what the difference is between "perfectly stereotypical" and just plain stereotypical (or if I was just being a smart alec when I wrote it...yikes!); I think the reason I wrote that is because there seems to be a difference between "perfect" and "stereotypically perfect" for me. The more "stereotypically perfect" is what everyone seems to be describing: the Judy Cleaver mom who bakes cookies and vacuums in a pearl necklace, the dad with a tie and briefcase who plays catch with his son every day after school, the loyal golden retriever who behaves wonderfully and is there to greet each child when he or she returns from school...all that good stuff.
I know my mom, brothers and I certainly aren't "stereotypically perfect," but as Lauren mentioned about her family, I think it is the perfect family for me. We definitely have our arguments and those times where we just want to rip each others hair out (okay, maybe not that bad) and we are one less than we used to be, but we still love each other unconditionally and will always be the perfect family for me.
Trying to define the stereotypical family is incredibly hard for me. I can say that I see what's been said: working dad, house wife, two kids, and a pet; but this seems totally wrong to me. I can see the holes in this picture EVERYWHERE. My mom was always the one who worked, my dad cooked and did things around the house, my sisters and I always fought and we used to have so many pets our backyard was a petting zoo. And this is perfect to me. I think that this should be stereotypical. Like Seemay said, the ideas of what a family should be are changing as the times do. A happy family doesn't have to stereotypical; in fact, it rarely is, but happiness should be the standard for what is typical and right, I always think of the song by Pink "family Portrait" when I think of things like this because she sings about how her parents are always fighting and yelling while her brother and her hide in a corner. She just wants to live like their family portrait, seemingly happy. Nothing is ever typical in a family because everyone is different. Every relationship is different.
Taylor, I totally agree that A happy family doesn't have to stereotypical, but as you see in the comments above you, there obviously is and it seems that everyone is thinking of the same thing for the most part. I think that the stereotypical family are just what are in our dreams. There is no way that there is a stereotypical family is this world, it would not be very human and I think most of us would be freaked out to be honest. I think it's mostly what the media puts out there for us and we take in the 'happily ever after' as that stereotypical family.
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