Hi, everyone!
Sorry for the late post. I totally forgot to revise the blog schedule when we had so many people drop the course. So, it looks like next week we're going to need either Meg or Sybelle to switch weeks. I'm just going to randomly assign one of you and it's Sybelle. So, Sybelle, you will be responsible for coming up with our blog topic next week and then Meg will do the following week. We have one more week where Genesis was supposed to come up with something, so do I have any volunteers? Posting a topic that week will count for a quantity post credit, so that means you then only need to respond once more that week to earn full credit. So, let me know if there are any takers!
Anyway, I'll just come up with the post this week. First, who do you think is more influential on a child--the child's family or the child's friends? Why?
Second, who do you think a child is more likely to listen to--his/her family or his/her friends? Why?
Have at it!
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15 comments:
I think a child’s parents are more influential until they reach a certain age and then their friends start having more influence on their life. I also think what influences a child is how connected and close they are to their parents. If a child is closer to their parents then they will be more influenced by their parents longer than by their friends. I also think high school is around the time that children start listening to their friends more than their parents because it’s that transition stage where they become teens and they feel as if their parents don’t understand them as much so they start pulling away and confiding with their friends more. Also I think that a child is more likely to listen to their parents, again if they are closer to their parents. Speaking from personal experience I always got along well with my parents so I, for the most part, did as they told me. Obviously my friends were there to influence me, but by that time I think that they had already taught me a strong moral code so that I wasn’t as easily influenced by others. I think that whom a child listens to also has a lot to do with who they feel a connection to, so when they start relating to their friends more around the changes they are going through in high school and puberty and what-not, even though parents have gone through this and know what it is like, the children connect better to people who are going through it at the same time as they are.
I completely agree with Meagan. I think parents have a greater influential on a child's life when the child is younger and the child relies on their parents to make the major decisions in their life; however, I believe that this changes when the child begins to make their own big decisions and begins to choose the friends that they spend the majority of their time with. I know for me at least, I talked less to my parents because I was heavily involved in school, sports, and clubs so, of course, I went to my friends for advice. I do not necessarily think my friends had the best advice to offer all the time, but they were the people I could actually relate to. Although my parents and I have a great relationship now, we had a total disconnect for the majority of my time in high school.
Even though my friends had a major influence on the things I liked or disliked, my parents always maintained their influence on my values and beliefs. I think the establishment of a strong moral code and sense of responsibility to that code in my childhood made it difficult to stray away from. I also believe what my parents had have a greater impact on me because they always led by example--and they were both great examples!
I'll start by saying that I'll volunteer to put up another post. I have an idea I'd love to hear some feedback on. Anyway..
When I think of who a child tends to listen to more, I think about my personal choice. It seems like a lot of the time I give in to human nature and listen to whoever is telling me what I want to hear-which in most cases is my friends. Another thing about friends is they aren't a blunt as a family member would be. They don;t usually try to make you do anything-they simply make suggestions at most.
When it comes to who has the most influence, I feel the that family wins, hands down. Sure, I love my friends and always have a great time with them, but my family members are the people I've been with since birth. They know everything about me-both the good and the bad. I think that when a person loves you even after they know all your faults, they will never leave you. That to me, is what family is.
I completely agree with Meagan, Carolyn, and Leah so far. Parents are the ones who typically feed, clothe, and spend the most time with children when they are little. So naturally, parents are going to have a bigger influence. But like the others said, as children grow up, the opinions of a child's friends are going to be more and more weighted. However I think that this situation is more intense if the child does not have a good relationship with their parents. They are going to be less likely to listen to or care about what their parents think. But if a child has a strong relationship with their parents, I think they would talk to their friends as well as their parents. I, for one, have a really good relationship with my parents, so their feedback means a lot to me. If I was to make a decision about what to do one weekend or how to do a homework assignment, I would definitely talk to my peers because they are going through the same thing I am. If I was to make a really important that would greatly affect my life, my parents would be the first ones I would turn to.
We went over this same kind of topic in psychology a couple weeks ago, and I found what they had to say very interesting. In psychological theory it's been found that peers make a bigger impression on children and what they do or think is cool however parents are more likely to influence the beliefs of their children. Although if children become more detached from their parents their peers will also have more of an influence on their beliefs.
I can see how parents would definitely have more influence on children as they're younger since that is basically the extent of social interactions for young children, however it's also been found that personality is not a product of the way that you were brought up, but already something that you were born with (ie a result of nature rather than nurture).
Personally, I find that my parents definitely had an impact on what I believe in (despite the fact that while they're hardcore republicans I continue to lean toward the liberal spectrum haha) - I'm Catholic and I've also learned to be very polite. However it's also apparent that my friends like the same things as I do - which is why we all get along so well.
I agree with what everyone else has been saying so far. I agree that it depends on what stage in their life the child is at. When they're very young, their parents usually make most of their decisions. When you're younger you rely on your parents for more things than you do when you're older. However, what you're exposed to when you're younger usually shapes who you are as an adult. So i would say that parents are a bigger influence on a child.
I think that a child is more likely to listen to their parents when they're younger, but their friends when they are older. When you get older it usually turns into you trying to fit in. So children usually listen to what their friends have to say. Also you can relate more to your peers, making it easier to listen to what they say rather than what your parents say. However, I also agree with what meagan said about the connection. Whoever you have a stronger connection/bond with is who you're more likely to listen to in the end.
Hi, all! Thanks for responding to my post. Leah--Meagan has volunteered to put up the missing post for November 18th, but you may always put up another post topic whenever you want (and this goes for the whole class). If you have something you want to talk about, then post away! You will earn points for it and you will give your fellow students another opportunity to respond as well.
Thanks!
Well I think that a child is more influenced by their parents. Parents have a huge influence on their children, and they sometimes are unaware how large the influence is. I think in the long run, there is a more permanent influence from parents. This goes along with what most everyone has mentioned in their post that age is a large factor in who the child is prmarily influenced by. I think being influenced more by peers as opposed to family tends to be more temporary. Speaking from a personal point of view, I was definitely more influenced by my friends during middle and high school. It seems as though is it more of a rebelious stage. However the beliefs my parents had enstilled in me stayed true, no matter how much I'd like to deny it. I feel that now I am more like my parents than ever, and am proud of this. I think this is also because now in college it is not as big of a deal to be like my parents, whereas in my middle and high school days my peers would have deemed that "uncool."
As for whom a child listens to more, I think it will always be their parents. Although they might try to listen to their peers over their parents, it esentially comes down to an internal battle of doing what they been told since they were young, and what they are beong told now. I think because the ties of family are so strong that family more often than not wins. No matter how hard it is to accept that what your parents tell you is usually right, it's true, and you have to admit it, even if it is just to yourself :)
I also agree with everyone else who has posted so far hahah I mean the reality is that who our parents are completely defines who we are for the first years of our lives. We have no concept of the outside world at that young age, and so our entire environment consists of our parents therefore making them the most influential people in the world at that time. Now it is true that when we grow up things change. As you grow older, I believe that you grow away from your parents regardless of your relationship with them; after all you have multiple other people who influence you as you get older, teachers, coaches, peers, etc. All of these people have some influence over what you think and your general experience as you grow older, which, lets face it, isn't always fun!
Personally I've always been close to my mom. Yes there have been times when my mom has influenced me and there have also been times where my friends have influenced me. I honestly just think that everyone has to learn their own lessons in life, because regardless of what your friends, parents, or anyone else says, in the end, people still tend to do what they want to do.
I think everyone has basically said everything. I love my family and I know that they have an iron grip on everything I think about. But this makes me think about something else, and I'm curious if anyone will respond with a story or something (really anything, since I'm the last to post). Do parents lose grace with their children? One of my aunts has recently had trouble with her son who is our age and he's left the house and no longer speaks to her. Does he really not care? This is the woman who carried his sorry lump for over 9 months and then did what she could, leaving behind all her dreams to raise him. Can you really forget a parent, or is there a subliminal whisper in your conscience that structures your every day life? He also doesn't keep friends very well. Can this be connected to his self imposed familial discord?
Well Taylor in my opinion I don't think that someone can just up and forget their family and everything they ever taught them and did for them. To me it seems impossible. I feel so sorry for his mother, but I think he is doing it to make a point. Maybe being our age he finally has the ability to experience true freedom. Whatever the circumstances of their home life are might also have had an impact on the present situation. I know when I moved out of my house in August I was fighting with my parents and didn't speak to them for about a week, but I know that I thought about them constantly and wanted to call and tell them things. It was a case of pride that I decided to swallow, and maybe it will be the same with your cousin.
The factor that he also has a difficult time maintaining friendships is interesting, but yes I do think is has to do with the fact that he doesn't allow himself to get along with his family as well as he could. It might be that he is trying to fill the "hole" that he has created for himself by distancing himself from his family. I think, though, that this would just further prove that you can't forget who you come from. The ties of family cannot easily be separated or replaced.
I agree with Taylor that everyone has pretty much nailed it, in my opinion. But for your story Taylor. My boyfriend of 2.5 years has been having very similar things happen. I just tried to kind of explain their relationship, but it is seriously too complicated for a blog. So let's just say simply: his parents basically stopped respecting him in the way he wanted them too. Because he got sent to a very expensive high school so he could get into a good college, they told him that he could only go to UNM and wouldn't pay for anything else. Once he turned 18 they stopped helping him financially and maybe every month give his 20 bucks. They would ask him to do things that he did not partically want to do, but would because he loves his family and loves to help, but then would later regret it because of his family little recognition of it. The list goes on and on and their relationship just continued getting worse and worse because they would not listen and try to improve their relationship. At this time, he rarely speaks to his parents, and when he does (especially with his mom) he gets in this terrible mood because she doesn't ask how he is or anything, just if he will help her fix her car or help her with a school project, etc. Together we came to a conclusion that not talking to them for a bit to let things rest to let things be thought over will be better, but that day when there will be an inevitable confrontation will be a scary day. My boyfriend an I have had many discussion about his parents and I have never been able to understand them for various more reason. There is no way for a family to lose their ties and really forget about a family. But to not care, of course, that can happen. When someone continuously does something that you interpret to 'I really don't care about you and your life' it seems conpletely normal to not want to be around that person, possibly ever again.My boyfriend also has lost many friends in this process and if your family, the people who are suppose to be there with you forever dont care about you why would you believe anyone else does. I feel lucky to have been able to help him through this part of his life and not after where he possible wouldn't of let me in and I could not have fallen as deeply in love with him as i am now. When a family is as broken up as some are, its scary to think of what has happened to cause such a unnatural reaction.
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