Thursday, November 18, 2010
Bye Bye, Baby
Why do you suppose our families, and the people we love as family, make us so happy, but also are able to destroy everything we hold dear? I do believe that the answer you all may think of is obvious: We are so attached to the people we love that when we, ourselves, or they pull away, it rips out a part of our hearts. But try to think differently. Why are we so attached to the people who raise us where other species of animals grow up and get out without a backward glance? Why are we different? Is it because we are "intelligent" or we are "more advanced" than other species of animals? Or is it because we are less wise?
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I am definitely not an expert in biology, but I do not think other animals have the same capacity to "love" one another like humans do. I also believe that based on survival, other species cannot have the same relationships with each other like humans. In comparison to other animals, humans have many more years within a lifetime to develop these close relationships with their relatives and offspring.
Physically, humans are not capable of leaving their parents. Babies must be cared for several years. Even as toddlers, humans cannot survive on their own. Humans need to be taught these skills. Even communication and language must be taught.
I can't imagine being pushed out into the world without a family. Even going to college was a scary step for me even with the support of my family. I have to say that even though your family and the people that you love as family have the ability to destroy everything you hold dear, that risk is outweighed by the unconditional love they provide (well, hopefully provide).
I think it's because we are believed to have more emotional capacity. All humans are born premature, believe it or not. This occurs in order to protect mothers. If we were born when we are actually ready, our mothers would die in labor. The human pelvis is too small for a non-premature to fit through safely.
Anyway, I gave an anatomy 101 speech in order to support my point: humans are mothered from before they are even ready to be born. Not only that, humans spend more time with their parents than any other animal. Throw in our much higher emotional capacities, and I think it becomes clear why we are so attached to our parents.
Humans' emotional capacity causes us to be run by our emotions so often that we ignore instinct, unlike other animals. Our emotions, not our instincts, are what gives our loved ones the power to make our day or ruin our day with one conversation.
Those are my thoughts at least.
Well, my opinion is largely shaped on how I was raised with my religion. Being Catholic, we believe that only human beings have souls because we were shaped in the image of God, and animals weren't, so therefore they don't have souls (although I secretly believe they do :P); they were made as companions for man so that he would not be alone, but none of them were the perfect match, hence woman. Anyway, this is the reason I believe that humans are so attached to their families, because we have that special connection that animals do not. I believe that because God made us in His image, with a higher intelligence, and because He made us with souls. This separates us from animals in that we are able to connect with others on a whole new level and therefore makes us vulnerable to heartbreak from those we connect with. I do not think it is because we are less wise. Ever heard the saying, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all? I believe that it is better to form these connections than to shy away from them, just because someday, someone might hurt us. The feelings and connections between families are more than skin deep, and personally, I would rather have these than have never felt them at all.
I believe that we as humans have this concept of 'love' that no other living thing has. I mean supposedly salmon and penguins are monogamous, but no other species has the same concept of love and family and all the other relationships we create as humans. Although, if you ask me, I think we would be better off as animals; somehow i don't think that animals get their hearts broken. That being said, my romantic side would hope that we are in fact lucky to have such connections with our fellow humans... my rational side, however, is skeptical.
I mean scientifically speaking, like Carolyn said, at birth a human isn't capable of taking care of itself, we must have a caretaker. Some animals are not capable of taking care of themselves at birth, but i believe that we need intensive care for the longest amount of time compared to any other newborn, which would cultivate a relationship between mother and child. Also we have far fewer offspring than most species, and so the parental investment is higher for humans because we typically only have a handful of children max.
I agree with what everyone has said so far. I too believe that this attachment has a lot to do with the fact that we can't care for ourselves after we're born. We need someone else to help us along the way and keep us safe until we are able to go out on our own. I also believe that we become attached to these types of relationships even after we are off on our own. I believe this is why we then look for those loving connections in others and form close relationships with others not related to us. This kind of goes with what Leah said. Humans are run by emotions, and the need to satisfy those emotions.
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