Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Is Gilmore Girls Realistic?
With the topic of single parenting coming up a lot in our presentations today, I was just wondering if you guys think the Gilmore Girls situation is realistic? For those of you who do not know what Gilmore Girls is, it is a show that follows the lives and relationship of a teenage daughter, Rory, and her cool mom, Lorelai, who had Rory as a teenager. This is one of my favorite shows, but do you think such a friendship between a single parent and a child is realistic? Or does the line of parenting have to be drawn somewhere? I look forward to hearing some feedback, especially from those of you who have experienced a single parent situation! Thanks :)
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12 comments:
I can see such a relationship existing, but that could only happen under certain circumstances. I think a mother and daughter could only be like Rory and Lorelei if the daughter was mature for her age and the mother slightly... immature (I don't think that's the right word to describe it, but I think you know what I mean).
I don't think such a relationship is unrealistic per se-just different. I would think that such a relationship could benefit the daughter by causing her to mature and glide smoothly into adulthood. However I think that she may miss out on learning how to become a mother if she is raised by such an unconventional one.
As far as the mom goes, I think that having a best friend in a daughter while being a single mother could be a lot of fun and a great adventure. However, interviewing my mom showed me that becoming a mother can very positively impact a person. If a mother was like Lorelei, she may never actually get to experience the joy of motherhood if she was stuck in a friendship with her daughter instead.
I'm not really in the same boat as Leah. I think that it's absolutely possible for this kind of relationship to happen. The earlier episodes of Gilmore Girls explained that Lorelei ran away from home and worked at an inn during the early years of Rori's life. The innkeeper was extraordinarily nice and understanding and treated Lorelei like a human, something her parents had neglected to do, so she had the time and inclination to spend time with her daughter. Lorelei raised her daughter to be strong and independent, but their relationship was so dependent because Lorelei knew her duties as a mom, but fitted them to her personality, something that makes a friendship between daughter and mother much more easily made.
I wish my mom had been more of my friend. I never felt like I could tell her anything and she literally had to sit me down and pry information out of me because I saw her as my mother and discipliner rather than my friend.
I think that mother and daughter can be as close as they are on Gilmore Girls, but I somehow don't think that their situation is very realistic. I mostly mean with all of the added boy drama and all of that though, not necessarily the relationship itself. I know for me personally, being raised pretty much just by my mom, she really is my best friend. Over the years we've had our ups and downs, but I really do tell her almost everything. The things that I think make it hardest for a mother and daughter to be like best friends is the fear of disapproval. I know when I was younger, the only things I would keep from my mother were things that I was scared she would be ashamed of me for. Over the years, as I've grown up, she now knows pretty much everything I've dealt with, and she was beyond understanding with what I had been through. I never really got that out of control though, so I suppose I'm not an extreme example. Ironically, when I used to watch Gilmore Girls, I would compare them with my mother and me. It was slightly different obviously, but I really do consider my mother and I to be best friends, even if we can't share clothes like Lorelai and Rory can. :)
I agree with that Leah said. I believe that such a relationship as the one portrayed on Gilmore Girls is realistic, but it depends on the circumstances. If the child is mature, independent, and focused, then I believe such a friendship can exist. This is because then it doesn't fall on the parent to always have to be there to guide the child or enforce some kind of discipline so that they behave. Instead, they can form the type of friendship that Rory and Lorelai have on the show. If the child was just completely out of hand, then the line of parenting would need to be drawn. If the parent still insisted on being more of a friend than a parent then there would be trouble because the child wouldn't really learn about consequences.
So I am already interested by your responses, so I just wanted to interject another quick question! Leah and Sybelle both mentioned that this relationship is possible only if the daughter is mature enough so not a lot of true "parenting" is necessary. This is definitely the case with Rory on the show. She is completely self-motivated to achieve great things in school, so Lorelai does not have to do much in that area. Based on the responses so far, is this relationship then impossible if Rory was not such a mature, good student? Therefore, does their parenting situation on the show almost work in reverse? I'm curious to hear more great ideas!
Good topic! lol. So, I think that if Rory was less mature or even if Lorelei behaved differently the show would be completely different and unrealistic. However, everyone also has to take into consideration the small town where they live. It's small, everyone knows everyone else, and it's sort of untarnished. If anything, I feel it's the town that's more unrealistic then anything else. The situations are trivial yet a very big deal through the episodes. Any relationship I feel can be realistic since they vary so much.
I agree with everyone that the Gilmore Girls situation can be realistic; however, for most mothers and daughters it is not the case. I do not personally think I would want to see my mother as only my best friend. I am super close with my mom, but she is by no means my closest friend. I believe that a line of parenting has to be drawn somewhere in order to maintain some kind of structure within the relationship. I also agree with Leah saying that the daughter has to be somewhat mature or does not "need" a real parent--not saying Lorelai isn't a real parent! I'm not quite sure how to put it either. However, I am sure it would be nice to see mothers and daughters that close in real life without the petty teenager girl fights and the trivial problems they often fret over.
I remember loving the show when I was younger, but not so much anymore! I think the show got predictable after a certain point! I actually have a question for everyone! Do you think their relationship would have been different if Lorelai had had Rory when she was older instead of a teenager?
I do think this relationship is possible, especially as Rory gets older and Lorelai is able to find more in common with her. Lorelai is still young when Rory hits puberty and maturity and so therefore they are able to be more like best friends or an older friend who is also a mentor. Also I think a big part of having a relationship like this become a reality, not just a TV show, is because, if the mom has the child as a teenager, the advice she gives her daughter as she grows up isn't going to be as wise or made in the same mature decision-making process as someone who is older and has a different view on life. So, I think this relationship is possible, but like Leah said, it also depends on situation. For example, I have a friend who is a single child and daughter who lived with her mom most of the time, but their relationship is any but like the Gilmore Girls relationship. Her mom is also in her fifties now and she grew up in a very strict environment. There were some times when I saw her mom trying to be 'cool', but nothing like the Gilmore Girls standard.
I really think this is possible to happen, but I feel like the main factor here is the age difference. If the age difference between a mother and daughter is too big, then obviously it's going to be harder for them to relate. If there's a smaller gap between the ages, then it's definitely easier for them to relate since they have mostly the same culture experiences.
Later in the series, as Rory starts to grow up a little more, they do also have their own differences and the lines between parent and child do become more distinct but somehow they're still able to maintain that clsoe bond that they've had throughout their lives.
I would agree with most everyone on this part That this is possible, but only because Rori is at the age where she can take care of herself and be a individual on her own. I have a feeling that Lorelei was very motherly at the beginning of Rori's life and maybe that's a reason why they are so close now and why they are similar in many ways. I do think that this situation may be possible but is also very very slim in todays society. I think now a days (sadly) when some one has a kid when they are too young, their child doesn't end up like Rori, probably the way opposite. I havent seen Gilmore Girls inn so long, so I can't pull anhting out of it, but I think that Rori and Lorelei's relationship is what every mother or daughter wants it to be like. And whether this is real or not I don't know. I just can't believe that this sort of thing would actually happen. I mean I have never seen this relationship with any parent and child to begin with so how can I saw how realistic this is when I have never seen it. I think this situtation though with grow with us and our moms and we will be able to achieve this kind of friendship when we are older.
Well I don't come from a single parent situation, and I never really watched the Gilmore Girls, but I feel like most above me that the situation has the possibility of being realistic, however I don't believe that it can only exist in a single parent situation. I now have a really great friendship with my mom and can talk to her about almost anything, but it is of course after I moved out. I do believe though in the single parent family, the mother and daughter have a better chance of having a more frinedly relationship because I feel like there is always that person in your family who you are closer to. My mom says my dad is her best friend, and I feel that way about my sister. If it were just us though, I feel like we would assume those roles.
Well, I've never seen Gilmore Girls before but I think that a friendly relationship between a mother and daughter is absolutely possible. If anything it might even make a daughter and mother closer, since they will probably be more likely to share things with one another (from daughter to mother, especially) if they feel more comfortable and relaxed with their mom. For example, if someone's mother was more strict and disciplinary, the daughter would probably be less likely to vent to her mom about, say, boy troubles.
On the other hand, I think there definitely needs to be a line drawn somewhere. A mother (in my opinion) shouldn't just let her daughter do whatever she would like (i.e. date boys at too early an age, stay out all night, etc). A mother should encourage her daughter to "do the right thing," excel in school, and things like that. It seems as though the daughter may be less likely to listen to the too-friendly mom if her mother were trying to discipline her.
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