Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Mother, Dear...
So after talking to a few of you about who y'all interviewed for the final project, an incredible amount of people interviewed their moms. So the question is this, who are you guys closer to? Your mom or your dad? Why? If you're closer to one parent and you interviewed the other, why? If you are closer to the parent you interviewed, why did you interview the parent you probably already know more about? Why do you think daughters are closer to their moms? Or do you? If you think otherwise, why do you think so?
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I love my mom very much. It sucks a lot that she just die, especially now that this final project has come about. I interviewed her less than two years ago about almost the exact same thing as we are interviewing our families for now. I love her a lot, but I think that my bond with my father has always been and will always be with my father. Like Francis and her father, we are so much alike that we had fought with one another for almost all I can remember of my childhood. We get along a lot better now, where my mother and I started to grew apart the last few months of her life. I wish more than anything that I could have been my mother's daughter, but I suppose that I will always be like her as an adult.
However, I didn't interview my father just because my mother is gone. I chose, rather, to interview my oldest sister, who is, to me, a complete mystery. I love her, but only because she's my sister, my blood. I know nothing about her and, since she spent so much more time with my mother than I did, I figure it's time to get to know my only connection to my past family.
I feel like I know more about my mother than my father; however, for some reason, I always gravitate towards my mother for projects like this. I believe that both of my parents are extremely interesting, but up until my high school graduation I have never really acknowledged my father's influence in my life.
During most of my life, my father and I have had a strained relationship that was only intensified by our move to Germany. It took me several months after leaving my parents to realize how much I needed them both.
Despite the fact that I know more about my mother, I do not know much about my mother now. For example, I was surprised during the summer when my mother mentioned baking. Before I had left, my mother had never baked anything in her life, but had taken up baking to get rid of the surplus of blackberries my father kept bringing home. Although it is extremely small, this change in my mother made me realize that she's a person. Sometimes I think I forget because I always expect my parents to be constants in my life. However, I am excited to use this project as a way to get to know my mother again.
I think I am really close with my dad, yet I am still closer to my mother. I am glad I am close to both of them, but I am probably closer to my mother because mothers understand more about daughters lives than fathers do most of the time! At least that is the case in my life! I chose to interview my mother. She is just such an amazing role model for me and I aspire to be like her in every way. Therefore, I want to pick her brain a little in terms of what she was like when she was my age. She always tells me that I am so much like her, so this project is an interesting way to get to find that out! Although I already know a lot about my mom, I think that gives me a chance to ask a little more in depth questions.
When my older sisters moved away for college, my mom and I became very close. We talked about so many things that her "mother figure" began to fade a little and I began to see her as a friend. Having so much time around my mom really brought us together and made our relationship stronger. However, I am equally close to my dad too.
I am usually the person who will choose my grandparents to interview. That was actually my first thought, to be honest. However, I realized that unlike the other interview projects I've had before, this one is about getting to know a family member better, not learning about past events. I thought that after becoming so close, I could find a lot to talk about with my mom. When i wrote my interview questions, I knew that I had chosen the right person.
I'm definitely closer to my mom. I've had more time to get to know her through the years because she was a stay at home mom, so she was literally always there. Also, she doesn't put the same kind of pressure on me that my dad does, and she's a lot less scary haha. My dad's always been the authority figure in the house. Even though I'm closer to her, I did choose to interview her because there's still a lot I don't know about her - we don't really talk about my parents' pasts ever in my house which I guess is kind of weird but it'd be too awkward to bring up since my dad had 2 previous wives and another daughter before he met my mom. I also chose to interview my mom (who I do know more about than my dad) because I'm more comfortable with her. My dad and I haven't really had a legitimate conversation since I was like 10. Which I guess would make him the prime candidate to have done an interview with, but it's just too weird still.
I guess daughters are closer to their moms because the mothers know what the daughters have gone through and can relate to us on that level.
I'm definitely closer to my mother. Like I've said before in class and previous posts, it's been just me and my mom since I was 8 years old, and the connection between my father and I never really recovered. He went to Asia when I was 8 1/2, and we haven't had a decent interaction since. However, as close as my mother and I are, there are some things that she and I never talk about, particularly about her youth. That is why I decided to interview her regarding issues such as her intended career, her experiences when she was my age, etc,. I suppose I could have interviewed my father, but the reality is I have zero desire to have a conversation with him, and not to mention the fact that I have no idea how to contact him! My guess is that daughters are typically closer to their mothers because like we talked about in class last week, there are some thing a teenage girl really can't share with her father without it being awkward.
I'm definitely closer to my mom, but I'm not sure it was always like that. When I was younger I think i was closer to my dad. This was because I was, and still am, really into sports. I always wanted to be in some sort of sport, my favorite being soccer. My dad loved this, because he's also a big sports fan. So this served as somewhat of a bond between us. However, as i got older I grew closer to my mom. Perhaps because it was easier to talk to her about girl problems, but also due to family issues that arose during high school. These issues really broke the bond I once had with my dad. This in turn also affected my relationships with my dads part of the family. Thats why I decided to interview my Grandma on my mom's side. Although I'm close to her and talk to her all the time, I don't really know much about her childhood.
I chose to interview my mom for the final project as well. I feel bad for admitting this, but one main reason is that there just aren't many other people for me to interview. Well...now I'm making it sound like that's the ONLY reason I'm interviewing her. Perhaps it was, at first, but now I'm actually really looking forward to it. We've (surprisingly, perhaps) lost a lot of what our relationship used to be, and I think this interview will give us an opportunity to reconnect on a deeper level than just "How was school today?" Don't get me wrong, I love my mom very much. She's one of the most important people in my life, but that mother/daughter relationship that some people have just isn't really there for us anymore. I really hope that the interview can help with that.
I think sometimes that I was closer to my dad. Perhaps that's just because we both are usually calm and laidback. However, when I get fired up, I have a short fuse (unfortunately--I've been trying to work on it!) and my mom is the exact same way. This has caused us to clash in the past. It's hard to say, though, because things may have been totally different if I had experienced my "angsty teenage years" with my dad there as well.
I think daughters can be equally close with their mothers and fathers; it all just depends on the personalities and both quantity and quality time spent together.
(I hope this all makes sense. Sorry I'm posting so late--had a long night at work!)
I decided to interview my mom because I have already interviewed my dad about his life. haha And I feel eaqually close to both, but I feel like that I know way less about my mom than my dad because of that interview. When I interviewed my dad, I was amazed by the great story he had to tell. He was the first in his family to come to America to go to college and it was definitely hard. But since his mother and his sister died of a stroke, he knew he wanted to become a neurologist. He told me the very first time he came across pizza too! I thought that was pretty funny. But I think daughters and mother definitely have that girl bond that you can't get with a dad. There's is just so much that a guy doesnt go through, feeling that are a little confusing to a guy. A mom can understand all those things and that definitely brings them closer.
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